Horror Movie Review: Pestilenz (2019)

Written, directed, and starring Thomas Grieser, Pestilenz is what happens when someone with no filmmaking talent gets his hands on a camera and talks his friends into making a horror film.

Harsh words, but this is shockingly bad, and there’s a chance that you (like me) forked over actual money to watch this. Forget buyer’s remorse, this film will leave with buyer’s rage.

Did I mention that it’s found footage too?

The story surrounds a small village in that has been closed off by the government. It’s a restricted area now, and rumours are that it’s because those within are suffering from the plague. Which would be frightening enough. and could have been an interesting take on modern deniers of medicine and conspiracy theories, except it actually seems to be related to something supernatural. An ancient evil represented by a figure in a traditional plague doctor’s outfit.

This has got the attention of three aspiring filmmakers who decide to find out what is going on inside the village. Which, naturally, turns out to be a terrible idea. Not just for them, but for us as the viewer. Be prepared for a whole lot of nothing, outside of three wholly unlikable characters constantly bickering and shaky camera footage. It might sound exaggerated, but nothing happens in this film.

The characters spend most of the film walking through some woods, and eventually we end up at a rundown house ala Blair Witch. We never see into the village, never see any signs of the plague, never get an answer, and must put up with fleeting shots of his supernatural plague doctor thing. It’s exceptionally dull, which would be bad enough, except it’s also really irritating to watch.

Here we have the worst of found footage, where every horrible trope you can imagine in place. It’s barely watchable when the camera is steady, and completely unwatchable when it’s not. Of course, most of the film falls into the latter bracket. Alongside that are three characters so poorly written and so poorly acted, it feels like a parody of bad found footage films. Except it’s not, it’s deadly serious and because of this (and everything else), one of the worst horror films ever made.